How to Help Your Young Athlete Handle Pressure: A Guide for Parents

Pressure is normal, and it is not all bad

Almost every young athlete feels nervous before competing. A little arousal sharpens focus and energy. The goal is not to remove nerves but to help your child handle them, keep perspective and keep enjoying the sport. Parents have a bigger influence on that than they usually realize.

Signs your child may be struggling with pressure

• Stomachaches, headaches or trouble sleeping before games or meets.
• Dreading competition, making excuses or asking to skip.
• Playing well in practice but tight or hesitant in games.
• Getting very upset after mistakes or replaying them for hours.
• Perfectionism or a fear of disappointing coaches, teammates or you.

If anxiety is severe, constant or affects school, sleep or daily life, talk with your pediatrician or a licensed mental health professional.

What parents can do

1. Listen first. Ask open questions, such as “What part feels hardest?” and listen without fixing right away.
2. Praise effort and process, such as focus, resilience and attitude, instead of results and stats.
3. Keep the car ride home light. Immediate post-game analysis often adds pressure. Let your child bring it up.
4. Normalize nerves. Saying that feeling nervous means it matters, and it happens to every athlete, helps children stop fighting it.
5. Let the coach coach. Cheer, support and stay out of tactics and playing time.
6. Protect rest, fun and other interests. A child whose whole identity is one sport carries more pressure.
7. Model composure. Children read how you handle your own stress and the sideline.

Teach a simple reset

Children can learn the basics of a reset early: one slow breath, a short cue word and a focus on the next play. Practice it at home, in low-stakes situations, until it is automatic.

When to consider mental coaching

If nerves are consistently getting in the way, or your child has had a bad experience such as a fall, a big mistake or a bad game that keeps replaying, a mental performance coach can help. Robert Barnett works with athletes of all ages, including young athletes. He has worked with athletes as young as 6 and finds engagement becomes more consistent around ages 8 to 10.

For athletes under 18, a parent or guardian contacts Robert first. The free 20-minute phone consultation is a chance to talk about your child’s goals, whether the timing is right and how sessions would work. Sessions are private and one-on-one by Zoom. This is mental coaching, not medical care, and results vary.

Read more on the athlete coaching overview, or find your child’s sport, such as gymnastics, cheer, volleyball or soccer.

Robert Barnett, C.Ht., PMP, MBA is a certified hypnotherapist and mental performance coach in Trumbull, CT, with 35+ years of hypnosis experience. He works one-on-one by Zoom with athletes, executives and business owners worldwide. About Robert

This article is for general education. It is not medical or mental health advice and does not replace care from a doctor or licensed clinician. Mental coaching complements, and does not replace, your coach’s training. Results vary.